The Power Of Authority And Why Not To Use It
My 6-year-old girl is a baby boss and from the moment she started to desire she gained the first managerial quality; the authority. As you can imagine having a smaller dependant ruling you isn’t a dream come true. It’s a dream in the making.
Or Maybe it's a Nightmare?
But not for all parents though. Without a doubt, most of them feel uneasy when a little one gives out commands and orders like a general on the battlefield. Some parents bring down this spark of ambition with a swift and often aggressive explanation of who is who.
Some parents behave like the baby boss themselves: they don’t ask, they give orders. And if that doesn’t work they frown and shout while pointing the finger in a threatening gesture.
And if that doesn’t work, they shout louder increasing the levels of aggression. The punishment comes next like that wasn’t enough.
If you’re a parent you’re stronger: your child doesn’t stand a chance. Besides, you will condition your child to be responsive to fear and aggression. Do you want to raise timid, unsure and unstable adult or an angry rebel? Because one of two going to happen.
There Is Another Way
Recognising my girl's natural drive for directing the spectacle of life I decided to give her a chance. It’s an additional effort as I need to put the father role aside and bring awareness and coaching skills into our relationship. But I know it’s the effort worth taking.
I’m teaching her how to get what she desires by non-directive communication. That’s more than saying please. That requires salesmanship, negotiation and motivational skills.
But isn’t it too much to ask of a 6 year-old? No.
This is a process and as such, it won’t happen overnight. It only requires warm, persistent, appropriate reaction when she steps into her general’s shoes. And no more than one piece of information at time.
Authority Doesn't Require Skills
Now let’s transfer this behaviour to the professional ground.
Authority is the easiest way to manage because it doesn’t require any additional skills. Anyone can do it. The problem is that quite a lot managers are using this doubtful quality as their main resource.
I hope that you’re not associated with one of them or you’re not one of them yourself.
Without training, an observant nature and willingness to learn it can be tough. And the consequences are reaching far beyond your playground. They affect all other aspects of your life.